Our little girl turned 1 last week. Reflections, feelings and emotions hit me like a ton of bricks and even my Amazon photo feed brought back memories when it asked if I wanted to see the pictures from "1 year ago." Seeing my tiny baby hooked up to more tubes and monitors I could count was hard, but seeing her after her heart transplant was even harder.
It now is difficult to believe that the smiley happy girl who will not hold still is that little baby who laid in her hospital isolettes, warmers, and mini cribs for so long. I can hardly describe the range of emotions I felt. But through those months and long days, the comfort of the Holy Ghost was amazing--even awe-inspiring. During those hospital days, I prayed harder and more often than I had ever before it my life. I physically and emotionally leaned on my Savior to get through moments, let alone days, weeks, and months. The love, peace, and comfort I felt was indescribable. I watched Priesthood Blessings and the power of prayer work miracles. Hospital rooms, halls, and waiting rooms became holy places.
Our Social Worker talked with us this last month when we were back at Rady's for a checkup. She made the comment that she wants to pray like we do. I told her that part of it was being prepared for the Lord's will to be done, no matter what the outcome was. I realize that not everyone sees the miracle of life and being able to bring home their baby like we did. A big part of what we learned is that the Lord's will is the right thing, and we had to get to a place that had our outcome been different, that was OK too.
I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child, I know there are some in our ward who have felt that heartache. I do not understand why some of us get the outcome we want, and some do not. I hope that in both cases, we can look for and find miracles as we are taught by the Holy Ghost.
Our baby's story is awe-inspiring to many. Rady Children's Hospital CEO asked a few months ago if we would be willing to share Eliana's story in a media event for the hospital board. It is hard to fit everything into a 4- minute video, but I think people can sense that there was something more that helped her get through it all.
As our family moves forward into 2020, I am still not quite sure what everything will look like. But, with faith and preparedness, we will march on. Eliana has a lifetime of medical needs and challenges ahead of her. What we learned this last year will help us as we continue to help her in her life, no matter how long that will be.
Preparedness in general is hard. It is hard to be ready for everything, not knowing what will happen or when. We often have 72 hour kits that are never used and wheat that lasts for 20 years (or more). It is almost impossible to be prepared for absolutely everything We try as we practice general preparedness like keeping our car at least 1/4 full of gas or storing away food for the
I am convinced though, when hard times hit, it is spiritual preparedness that will gets us through. The strength of our testimony and the ability to receive revelation through the Holy Ghost is so essential.
This principle was reiterated to me recently as I read in 1 Nephi and thought about the stark differences between Nephi and Laman & Lemuel's response to Lehi's vision. The Come Follow Me manual points this out, but I think it is worth thinking about more.
Nephi had a desire to know the truth. He believed his father, but still had questions. He humbly asked the Lord in faith if the things in Lehi's vision were true, and wanted to understand their meanings. As a result, Nephi was able to see the same vision Lehi did, but with much more detail. He was also able to converse with an angel and see the history of the world. Wow.
Laman and Lemuel, on the other other hand, also believed their father. There was much they didn't understand, but they waited for someone to tell them what it all meant. Lehi and Nephi did the best they could to describe their visions and teach the important lessons, but Nephi's brothers had no desire to find out for themselves and take their own questions to the Lord.
Sometimes I find myself suffering from Laman and Lemuel-itis. It is much easier to wait until Sunday when the Sunday School teacher will tell us what I need to know about the previous week's lesson. Chances are, I may have just skimmed the lesson, or most often, not even read it. Searching for answers and studying myself is hard, but it brings the power of the Holy Ghost to my study. I get much more out of the scriptures, Conference talks, and lessons when I actively seek to have the Holy Ghost, the great master teacher, with me as I read and study.
The decisions Nephi and Laman & Lemuel made about how to allow the Holy Ghost into their personal lives not only effected them, but the nations that came after them.
As we get nearer and nearer to the Second Coming, our testimony will have to continually get stronger and stronger. Some things will not be fantastic to experience and will test every ounce of preparedness we have stored--physically and spiritually--but to really get through the hardships we will be faced with, will require unwavering faith in our Savior, Jesus Christ.
I Challenge You to make 2020 the year that the Holy Ghost teaches you things so that you feel it more than you ever have before. Invite Jesus Christ into your life to really be your Savior. Understand the importance of continued watchfulness and studying our life "meticulously and regularly" (to quote President Nelson) in order to be the best we can be, and to know what we need to know to endure to the end.
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